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The Princess and The Prosthetic

Diabetes, Food, and Me

January 19, 2023 in Diabetic Diva - 1 Comment

I see a therapist regularly–between the weight of Callie’s medical journey, James’s uber stressful job, and my own chronic health condition, simply talking to someone who helps me unpack things & organize my thoughts is key to my emotional well-being.  I can not recommend it enough if you are the parent of a child with a disability, suffer from your own chronic condition, or simply need help talking through life’s challenges.

So my therapist and I have been diving into my relationship with food (spoiler alert, it’s not good), diabetes, and my body image a lot lately. Tough conversations, harsh realizations, and now I’m at a point where I can accept the diagnosis of an eating disorder like “diabulimia” to explain how I used to behave and still struggle to navigate and overcome daily.

Honestly, it’s not something I never thought I would be brave enough to do. Much less publicly share.

But it’s the truth. I used to restrict or stop taking my insulin completely because it made me lose weight.

Even though I was TINY!

I have diabulimia.

I have a disordered and distorted view of eating–stemming from a hyper focus on food for my entire life with Type One Diabetes.
Food can save my life or it can kill me. I was taught that some foods were good and others were bad. I think about food ALL day long…..because I am FORCED to. I panic if I think that I’m going to be somewhere without access to food. I am afraid of some foods (hello pasta) for fear of what it will do to my blood sugars or simply how much insulin I’ll have to take to cover them.  I can’t look at food as just “food”–I look at it as a roller coaster, off limits, restrictive, or in some cases life saving.  I can’t look at a piece of my birthday cake and see celebration, a party, or enjoyment.  I only see off limits, not worth the bolus, and a food a diabetic can’t eat.

So today, I’m sharing this really personal diagnosis with everyone in hopes that others will feel more comfortable sharing their raw, uncut, “messy” parts too. I’ve always prided myself on being as transparent as I can with my diabetes care so I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about this aspect of my journey. I will always lean into hard things if it helps even one person but keep in mind–I’m learning a lot and digging into things that are super uncomfortable for me to admit to and acknowledge. The level of vulnerability, transparency, and grace that I will have to give myself is something that I’m learning to navigate daily.

I will have to keep reminding myself….recovery is a verb, not a destination.

But I’m also focused on celebrating the small wins in my relationship with food on a daily basis–today I ate a bagel (with cream cheese) and didn’t think twice about it.

Years ago, that small simple act would have wrecked me.

Today, it was just breakfast.

Jaime

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for stopping by! My name is Jaime! Wife to my better half, James, who is my moon and all of my stars. We are parents to our little warrior princess, Callie Grace. We started this blog to share our journey as we navigate through our crazy beautiful life. Callie is a lower limb amputee and I am a Type One Diabetic. We are hoping to change the face of beauty one step at a time! We hope by sharing our story, you leave with a little bit more inspiration and hope! Thank you so much for stopping by and joining our tribe!

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1 Comment

  • Betty January 20, 2023 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing. Huge hugs being sent your way!
    ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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    About Me

    About Me

    Jaime

    Hi Y'all! I’m Jaime, a proud working mama, author, girl boss and wifey to an ultra-adorable husband. I am a huge book nerd, I drink coffee like my life depends on it, and run on dry shampoo and Amazon Prime. Leopard print is my favorite color. I am a story teller at heart and this blog is a virtual scrapbook of our crazy beautiful life. I'm a Type One Diabetic and our little warrior princess Callie is a lower limb amputee. By sharing how we’ve chosen to flourish in the garden we’ve been planted in, we hope you can take some small nuggets of hope, inspiration, and laughter. We are so grateful that you’ve found us—welcome to the fam. We embrace our perfectly imperfect lives and don’t let the doctor’s appointments, spreadsheets, speaking engagements, 10th birthday parties to plan, housework or date nights overwhelm us. Those things are just the beautiful reminders of all the blessings in our lives. Read More

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