When I was first pregnant with my daughter, I worried about how I would deal with my diabetes after having kids. For many who don’t know, parenting can be particularly challenging through the highs and lows of this disease. Whether it has to do with meal prepping or managing all the work that goes into keeping our home running, I’ve had moments where I found myself where the laundry is piling up or I forget to pack our Callie’s favorite snack for lunch because I spent the night filled with up and down blood sugars.
While managing a disease like diabetes can (and does!) feel like a full-time job, I’ve found what works best for me is using a combination of both problem-based coping mechanisms and emotion-based coping. Problem-based coping tends to focus on more practical methods, such as implementing a strategy to combat lows while with your kids, while emotion-based coping focuses more on letting yourself feel what you need to in a healthy way like listening to sad music. By using both coping mechanisms, I’ve found I can solve for the immediate need but also take care my mental health (my long term need).
While some methods may give you instant relief (hello glucose tabs) and others only give a fraction of relief, it is important to become familiar with different types of coping strategies. Developing multiple coping skills can make it easier to utilize when you are struggling with the burden of managing a life long disease AND parenthood. Here are a few of my favorite small ways that can make your parenting with diabetes easier in your day-to-day life:
Find a Cleaning Routine that Works No Matter How You Feel
I’ve found that when my house is a disorganized mess, I inevitably find myself more irritated and a much less patient parent to Callie.
For the days where my energy is low, my BGs are challenging my ever loving patience, or I was up all night chugging juice boxes–I found that having a simple three-step routines for mornings and then for evenings is super beneficial. It can be as simple as wipe the counters, load the dishwasher and plump the couch pillows. This instantly makes our downstairs look more pulled together and takes me all of 15 minutes total. The idea is that once you get comfortable with the short routine, you can add to it when you are feeling great. For me, this established cleaning routine makes me feel accomplished, even on low-energy days when I need to go back to the basics.
Stash Low Blood Sugar Treats All Over the House
I was upstairs one time and found myself getting very dizzy and disorientated. Sure enough, my blood sugar was low. I couldn’t send Callie downstairs to the kitchen as she was only 3 or 4 years old at the time so I found myself taking the stairs one at a time–terrified I would plummet to my death. From that day forward, we have kept little stashes of gummy bears, fruit snacks, and glucose tabs all over our house so that in the event of a low–they are easily accessible to me (and to Callie). There’s a handful of fruit snacks in the office, glucose tabs in our bedroom, and a bag of gummy bears in the guest bedroom. This way, I don’t need to depend on Callie to get me anything from downstairs AND a snack is only a few steps away from me at all times.
Make Meal Planning Simple and Easy
I used to think that I needed to show up with a 4 course dinner complete with dessert to be considered a good mom (and wife!). In reality, there’s only three of us in our little family and we all have pretty busy schedules that don’t exactly allow for us to plan, prep, and execute a full “dinner” experience each night. The key is putting emphasis on simplicity during the school week, whether it is by using a meal service or steaming a bag of veggies and adding a quick protein. This way–we’re eating things that fit into my meal plan AND I know are easy and healthy for everyone in my family. When I do feel up to something more challenging and have a little more time on the weekend, I whip out my “Half Baked Harvest” cookbook or try a new recipe from Pinterest I’ve been eyeing.
Most importantly, I’ve embraced that healthy and yummy meals for my family don’t need to be a whole affair. I also love that the routine makes it easy for me and my husband to switch cooking days when needed and allows plenty of opportunities for Callie, who loves to help in the kitchen. Having meals as one less thing to worry about makes day-to-day parenting so much easier and frees up time so I can spend quality time with the family (and pup!).
Implement Family Recharge Time
At my therapist’s suggestion years ago, I started implementing a quiet hour during the afternoons when Callie and I can wind down, read, or just take a breather if we want. These can be implemented after I have a low blood sugar–it sometimes can take me 30 minutes before I feel like a productive human again, or even on the days where Callie needs to take a “leg break” and get out of her prosthetic for a bit. Immediately after school is also one of our favorite times to do it as a nice “transition” time. She has the option to relax in our room, snuggled up in bed with me and a book or in her own room. Allowing us this space just to be with one another or to even enjoy some solitude in our separate bedrooms helps me not feel guilty for needing a “break” because of my diabetes. I’m able to recharge and rally–because I had a chance to settle down and relax. I also think it’s important that I’m modeling self care, rest, and taking a breaks for Callie.
Teach Your Kids Mom Isn’t Super Woman
I think how we handle my diabetes and the little every day nuances of managing this chronic disease, has taught Callie that her mama isn’t Super Woman. Mama needs rest, Mama needs breaks, Mama needs to recharge. I’ve had to humble myself very quickly when I snap at her after having a high blood sugar (I get super irritated) but it’s a good opportunity to model that grown ups make mistakes. There have been countless times where we’ve had to leave a playground early, miss a birthday party, or been late to horseback riding because of how I’m feeling and I could beat myself up about it–or I could use it as a teaching moment. We talk about empathy and compassion, kindness and understanding. By taking a few quick minutes to talk through things with Callie, it’s made managing my disease (and the guilt that can come with it sometimes) much more feasible for me.
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