Ten Micro Habits to Increase Feminine Energy

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on feminine energy lately. And as usual, anything that I’m learning or fascinated by, I share with you all! I am loving all the DMs and messages I got after my last post on feminine energy so I thought I could share some tiny-micro habits that I’m doing to increase my feminine energy. But just in case you missed the last post, let me catch you up!

The idea of sacred feminine energy dates back centuries with roots in various ancient religious and spiritual philosophies: Think of Taoism’s yin and yang—where yin represents feminine energy while yang symbolizes masculine energy; or Hinduism’s Shakti and Shiva—where Shakti represents feminine dynamic consciousness while Shiva symbolizes masculine static consciousness. It deserves repeating: “Feminine” and “masculine” are traits that each of us embodies, no matter how we identify or what our sexual orientation is. Masculine energy comes out when working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and letting ambition lead you, whereas you exude your feminine side when you move with the flow of life, embrace creativity and sensuality, and attune to the internal process. All genders can have varying degrees of each energy and need the pair of energies to thrive.

What’s interesting to me (and wasn’t too big of a surprise) is that our culture prioritizes attributes of masculine energy–leadership, action, logic, analytics, assertiveness, and achievement–which leaves a lot of us feeling burnt out, depleted, disconnected, and unhappy. We can see this when you feel like you have to be dominant and assertive at work or you will get passed over for a promotion or focusing on achievement in your wellness routine (think: 10,000 steps a day or closing all the rings on your activity tracker) rather than how you actually feel.

But valuing masculinity over femininity translates to tipping the scale towards an imbalanced life of work and depending on technology over resting, recharging, and connecting with nature and others (AKA what actually makes us happy and healthy). Leaning into both the feminine and masculine energies is the key to living a healthy, happy, fulfilled, and balanced life. If you’re looking for tiny micro habits to increase your feminine energy, read on:

Micro Habit #1–Do a Micro Dress Up

We all know we feel better when we have a blowout, spray tan, our nails done and makeup looking flawless. Or is it just me? But there’s no way (at least in my life right now) for me to be able to accomplish that amount of upkeep on a daily basis. Enter the micro dress up. I have noticed that I am more wholly in my feminine energy if I spend literally 5 minutes on my appearance instead of just rolling out of the house in the same yoga pants-baseball-hat-oversized-hoodie look I normally rock.

In under 5 minutes I can:

Do a quick concealer, eyebrow & mascara
Put my hair in a slicked back bun
Dress in a button down, ballet flats & jeans

If I feel like I need an extra “bit” I will add a nice piece of jewelry!

Micro Habit #2–Ask for Help

I don’t know what it is about asking for help. I would rather wander around the grocery store for 45 minutes searching for the salsa I need, than to simply ask for help. Do store employees ask me if I need help? Absolutely. And I decline it so I can continue to walk around each aisle of the store searching for it on my own.

But, in efforts to step more into my feminine energy, I’m asking for help. When I go into a store, looking for an exact shirt I saw on their website, instead of saying “No, thanks….I’m just looking,” I now respond with “Yes, I’m looking for XYZ. Can you help me find it?”

Why make things harder on myself? Why waste time and energy? One aspect of feminine energy is not only asking for help but accepting it. You can (shocker) let things be easy and you don’t have to do everything on your own.

Micro Habit #3–Slow Down

To be in your feminine energy, you can’t be rushing all the time. I tend to find myself rushing all the time–rushing when I walk, rushing to get dinner made, rushing to wash my face at night, even rushing through my “self care” so that I could get on to the next task. I’ve really made a conscious effort to SLOW DOWN.

Rushing goes against everything that is feminine energy. If you’re rushing you can’t hear your inner knowing, you can’t access your creativity, and you miss out on so many small moments of joy in your life. I don’t recommend slowing down for everything (we don’t wan to be like the Sloth character from Zootopia) but there are certain areas of your life that you can take your foot off the gas. Slowing down will make you feel more centered in your body and calm your nervous system.

Micro Habit #4–Incorporate Tiny Moments of Pleasure

One huge aspect of feminine energy is realizing that not everything you do has to be productive to be valuable. I have focused on clearing space in my life to do things simply……..because I like them. One great example is reading. I LOVE to read. But I found myself over the last year reading mostly non-fiction books because I felt like I “needed” to be consuming content that would benefit, educate, or help me in some way. And over the last few months, I started reading primarily fiction again. I fell in love with the ACOTAR series and trust me, that series is purely for entertainment value. Wink, wink.

Everything you do doesn’t have to be productive or be used to monetize.

You can (and should) do things just because you like it–reading, coloring, scrapbooking, cooking, going to see a band, crocheting, hand lettering, playing tennis, going for a hike, or watching reality shows. If you tend to be stuck in your masculine energy, I can understand how it might be hard to slow down and do something that feels unproductive. But if you can find ways to do things that make you happy, carve out time to romanticize your life, and have moments of joy, you can tap back into your feminine energy.

Micro Habit #5–Let Things Be an A- instead of an A+

Everything you do doesn’t have to be 100% perfect. Sometimes, in the interest of not being burnt out or killing all of your joy, you can let something be an A- instead of an A+.

If I thought that everything I wrote had to be an A+ before I hit the “Publish” button, I would never have any blogs posted. If you think that every time you go to kickboxing class, you have to be an A+ student, that’s going to suck the fun out of it. If you think that everything you paint, draw, create, cook, or do has to be perfect……you are going to crash and burn.

Most things in life can be an A-…..and you will know the things that will need to be an A+.

The more you stress out about everything the more you get out of your feminine energy.

Micro Habit #6–Tiny Treats

When we started on our debt free plan many years ago, one of the things that I gave up was “treating” myself to little incidental things. I’m talking like skipping a Starbucks Chai latte during my Target runs, choosing to use the library instead of buying myself a book, doing my own nails instead of having a manicure done, and now that we are debt free….I’m re-evaluating that practice.

I feel like that behavior subconsciously told me that I wasn’t worthy of those things. That my pleasure wasn’t important. For me increasing my feminine energy meant doing more nice things for myself. And I’m not talking about blowing $300 at Anthro, I’m talking about treating myself to a $5 cup of coffee after I was outside in the cold all day. Or getting myself a book to take on a business trip that I’ve had on my TBR list forever. I didn’t just use it as an excuse to blow a bunch of money on myself but I used the opportunity to show myself the same kindness that I do to others.

Its about seeing the value of making me happy, treating myself and making myself feel good.

Micro Habit #7–Posture

I’m an Amazon. I legitimately am SO tall. And being this tall, I tend to slump over in an attempt to be on the same level as everyone else. I also have bad posture habits like slouching on the couch, staring down at my phone, or sleeping in awkward positions. Stepping into my feminine energy more has made me hyper aware of my posture and how I’m carrying myself. For a good micro habit to fix your posture, sitting is probably the one to fix first. Look at getting an ergo desk set up or install a small mirror in front of you so you have a visual cue when tend to have the mid-day slumps.

I find myself slowing my pace when I walk, allowing my hips to naturally swing from side to side, and elongating my spine to allow myself to come to my full height. I find myself allowing my body to “flow” as opposed to trying to make it look as small as possible. Good posture makes all the difference–not only in how you look but how you feel in your body. A graceful posture and graceful movement are essential to being more in your feminine energy.

I’m shooting for more Audrey Hepburn and less Shaggy Rogers.

Micro Habit #8–Putting Me Time on the Calendar

I’m my most important relationship. And feminine energy is all about relationships and connection–so how better to tap into that than to schedule dates……with myself. By putting “Me Time” on the calendar, I’m prioritizing myself and signaling that I matter. These scheduled times can be to take a walk, to take myself out for coffee (See #6), or to browse the aisles of Hobby Lobby. The more time I have with myself the more in tune with myself I am. I can hear my inner voice more clearly, I’m more centered in my body, and I feel like I’m showing myself I’m worth the time.

Micro Habit #9–Allow Kindness

When I’m fully in my feminine energy, I can allow others to show me kindness. I can honestly say for a long time, I was under the impression that I had to do everything for myself to “prove” that I was a strong independent woman. Open the door? I can do that. Pick up the check? Nope, I can do that. Lift something heavy? Yep, that’s why I do squats.

And so it felt counter intuitive to all of the female voices in my head to allow kindness from a man. And I would take that to the next level and just not accept kindness really from anyone (raise your hand if you are an over achieving first born daughter). Would that make me more in debt to people? Less independent? More vulnerable? My therapist has a field day with this topic.

But the more I’m discovering about feminine energy, that more I’m leaning into allowing more kindness from people. The universe has to see that I’m willing to accept basic levels of kindness before She can reward me with the even bigger gifts I know she has up her sleeve for me. And if I can’t even let someone open the door for me how can I be spiritually open to receive anything?

Leaning into my feminine side is letting all the doors be opened for me. You can pick up the check too. I don’t mind.

Micro Habit #10–Make Something With Your Hands

I recently found Joe’s Florist on Instagram and I’m OBSESSED. She makes amazing bouquets out of flowers from Trader Joes and I’ve attempted several of her tutorials. There is just something uniquely feminine about making something with your hands. Flower arranging gives me that opportunity plus I get a gorgeous flower arrangement too! You can try knitting, baking, gardening, models, coloring, painting, scrapbooking, carpentry, and more. I have a friend that makes jewelry and I have never seen her more in her feminine energy than when she started her hobby.

Love and light,

Jaime