I realize this idea comes, in part, because I’m a parent of a disabled little girl. I’m very conscious of the emphasis we put on looks, appearance, and our bodies in this culture. I don’t want to tie her worth (or her self confidence) to her appearance. I’d rather she focuses on who she is at her core that what she looks like!
I think surface compliments tend to be easier because they’re right in front of us. Think of how many times you’ve complimented a stranger on their killer outfit or asked where they found their shoes. We don’t really know if these people are kind, funny, smart, caring, or brave, so unless we observe them doing something extra special, we can’t really give them a more meaningful compliment.
But as our own children grow and we observe what makes them special, we can go deeper than surface level with a compliment.
And we should.
Here are some compliments that have nothing to do with appearance to give your kids. Bonus–you can take any of these a step further with specific observations you noticed.
Compliments for Kids
On Relationships
1. You give the best hugs.
2. I love spending time with you.
4. You are a kind friend.
5. You helped my day start happy.
On Responsibilities
Experts have said it helps to praise the process, not only the outcome for our kids. Here are some examples:
6. You’ve really been practicing at archery/painting/writing, I notice you’ve improved.
7. Your teacher is going to be impressed by the work you’ve put into .
8. Excellent job getting ready.
9. You are such a good helper when you sweep the floor/walk the dog/get yourself ready in the morning.
10. Great job putting that outfit together.
11. I’m proud of how hard you worked on .
On What Makes Them Unique
12. You come up with such interesting ideas.
13. I love your curiosity.
14. I can feel your passion about .
15. I enjoy listening to your stories.
17. I’m proud you want to try this on your own.
18. I’m going to think about (funny or heartwarming thing your child did) if I need to feel happy today.
19. You have the best laugh.
20. Your smile makes me smile.
21. You have the biggest heart.
On Family
22. I’m grateful for you.
23. You are such a helpful big brother/sister.
24. I always look forward to seeing you at the beginning and end of each day.
25. I’m so happy you are part of this family.
And it goes without saying: the best compliment is “I love you.”
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